What Where When and Why

June 13, 2022

Ask questions. What? Where? When? Why? Believe it or not, your mother and father had a life before you were born, or before you were ever even thought of. Children have a tendency, no matter what their age, to think that the world revolves around them. They are the sons and daughters of parents who had no other label than being the parents of their children. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Parents are parents if you are part of their lives, but realize your parents wear and have worn many different hats in their lifetimes, and being your parents is only one facet of who they are. Ask questions. What? Where? When? Why? In most circumstances, parents have lived a quarter of a century before they brought you home from the hospital. Who are your parents? What are they really about, when you take yourself out of the equation? Your parents come to into your life with their own talents, their own dreams, and maybe their own baggage. Your parents will be the parents they are because of the lives they have lived for the first quarter of a century of their lives. These people who will love you, feed you, clothe you, and guide you will be people with a history. Your future will depend on their past. It is best to know as much about them as possible. The first thing you should know, is that your parents are human, and are likely to make mistakes. Forgive them, for they are doing the best they know how. Second of all appreciate all they are doing for you, because their love is a gift, and lastly know you may not always agree with your parents but learn about where they are coming from. Learn about their dreams, their successes and their disappointments. The circumstances of their lives will determine their behaviors and actions as your parents. There is no need to reinvent the wheel at every turn. Let your parents make your journey easier for you. Let their love and experiences smooth out some of the bumps in the road of immaturity. Ask questions. They have been there and done that. They have been where you are. You don’t need to or want to be clones of your parents, but you can learn so much about your life by understanding theirs. The other thing is they will become more interested in what your world is like if you care about theirs. What are your dreams? Where do you want to go, what do you want? Perhaps they can help you on your way. Your parents want you to be happy. They want you to follow your dreams. Even when you are grown up, they have already been grown up. Ask them for advice. Talk to them about the world you live in. Your parents are not your enemies, your parents are your cheerleaders. When you are happy, they become happier. When you succeed, they enjoy your success vicariously. They are in the audience as you receive the recognition of your accomplishments. They are in your corner whether you are laughing or crying. I am 74 years old, and my mother and father have been dead for a long time, and yet I can see how they are still influencing my life. I often say, even today, I am so glad I was not an orphan. I knew my parents when, and I know who I am now. I am forever grateful, and my happiness can be traced back to the choices I made. The choices I made had a lot to do with the parents I had. Ask questions. Get to know your parents, and by doing so, get to know yourself. All any parent wants is for their children to be happy. Return the favor. Children have a better life when their parents are happy.

Granny-o